Relevant Information
by The Duckster
Summary: Ron/Hermione. Arthur takes Ron aside to have a 'the' talk with him. Horrified and awkward Ron. R/Hr


Title: Relevant Information

Fandom:Harry Potter

Characters: Ron and Arthur Weasley

Prompt: 33 Too much

Word Count: 1393

Rating:K+

Summary:Ron/Hermione. Arthur takes Ron aside to have a 'the' talk with him.

Author's Notes: Awkward Ron is fun.

**Relevant Information**

Ron was sitting at the table, shoveling his third helping of sheep herders pie into his mouth as Harry discussed with him the merits of the beater boxing defense technique used by the French Quidditch team during the play offs the previous week when his very nervous looking father invited him out to shed for a bit of a chat.

Ron just looked at his father with bits of green bean and ground beef clearly visible in his open mouth. It's not that he never spoke with his father, he laughed and joked with his dad all the time. It's just it wasn't typically a formal discussion that merited pulling him from the table. He wondered for a moment if he were in trouble but he knew that wasn't likely. In all things rule breaking Mum was in charge of the screaming and the ranting. No, from what he could piece together from Dad's awkward fidgeting and Mums knowing looks it was going to be much worse than yelling. He stood up slowly, still weary of the situation and decided it might just be best to bring along a bit of back up.

"Yeah alright, you coming Harry? Hermione?" He looked at his two friends hoping they'd get the hint to get up with out argument. "If it's anything to do with your muggle stuff these two would be better."

he was half way to the door and neither friend had joined him. Hermione just sat there with her cheeks flushed pink and Harry, ever just as clueless as himself, had made to get up but Mrs. Weasley put a hand on his shoulder stopping him.

"Don't worry about a thing Ronnie, we'll hold pudding until you two come back." and with that he knew he was dismissed. The short walk behind his dad to his muggle rubbish shed felt like a death row march. They didn't exchange words or glances until they were both tucked inside and the door was closed. His dad began fiddling with the disassembled plugs on the counter. Ron just sat on the three legged stood in the corner, determined to make his dad break the awkward moment of silence that now stretched between them which he finally did it was without looking up.

"Ron your mother thinks it's about time you and I have a talk." Ron couldn't immediately think of a response so he just continued his silent stare into nothing. "It's very likely we should have had this talk a while ago but what's done is done, that is to say," his dad whipped his forehead with a handkerchief from his pocket. "We're hoping nothing has been done yet but in case it comes up, or rather if things keep progressing like they are." Arthur trailed off not bothering to finish his thought verbally. He eyed his son suggestively. "It's no secret you and Hermione have grown close."

As horrified as Ron was in that moment, he was at least a little encouraged that his parents had also believed he and Hermione were growing closer.

"Dad, she's one of my best mates alright, that's it." _'despite how much I wouldn't mind it being otherwise'_ he thought to himself.

"That's about as mad as a box of frogs." Mr Weasley snorted a little. "But it's besides the point. Hermione or not you come of age this year and there are somethings we need to go over."

"We don't really, Bill already had this talk with me." Ron's did his best to keep his voice steady but he couldn't disguise all the desperate pleading out of his voice.

"He did? When?" was his father's startled response.

"Summer before fourth year, when Hermione first came to stay with us. Seems the family can't help themselves with the wrong impression." He muttered this last sentence under his breath.

"What exactly did Bill say?" Ron groaned loudly in annoyance but his dad just kept staring at him and he knew he wouldn't get out of this by being silent so he answered in as short of sentences as he could.

"He said that no matter how much I might want to, don't go all the way because contraceptive charms don't work on Weasleys. That there were other fun things to do and until I was ready to make you and mum grandparents that's what I should stick too." Ron never took his eyes off the suddenly very interesting woodgrain of the floor below. He was surprised when his dad let out a loud laugh that he stifled quickly.

"Bill is a very smart young man, you should listen to him." a beat of silence hung uncomfortably. "There are somethings other then that though."

"Yeah, I know. Bill told me about them too." he added suggestively, hoping his humiliating conversation two summers before would save him from his current humiliating conversation.

"I don't doubt that he did, Bill's always been a bit enthusiastic about certain subjects. I do have more experience in such matters though, your mother and I didn't have seven children without garnering a certain finesse on the matter."

Ron thought he might throw up. Images of what Bill had described to him and what his father had just said came crashing together in the most horrifying of mental imagery. Never, and he meant never ever had he wanted to know that about his parents.

"DAD!?! Could you stop, I don't need you going on about Mum as if she's some kind a woman or something."

"She wouldn't be your Mum if she wasn't some kind a woman." There was a suggestiveness in Arthur's tone that brought about identical horrors as moments before. Ron racked his hands across his face, trying to scrub the images out of his now scarred brain. "Now back to Hermione," he was interrupted by a muffled cry but continued on. "she is a wonderful girl that we will gladly always welcome into our home . We've come to look upon her as a sort of daughter of our own. So I say this as both her father and a self appointed representative of her. You do anything to that sweet young lady, pressure her in any way and you will have to answer to your mother and I."

Ron scoffed inwardly, obviously his parents didn't have any sort of sense as to who his best friend and fellow fighter a few weeks back at the ministry was. He doubted very much that anyone could pressure her into anything of that nature, let alone him.

"I would never do that to Hermione, or anyone else." He wasn't sure if the anyone else part was true, he'd never really taken the matter under serious consideration with anyone else in mind, but felt admitting to either truth would only prolong the conversation.

"I'm glad to hear that son. Now uhm, do you have any questions?" Arthur looked relieved to have what he needed to say off his chest. The entire discussion so far Ron had been dying for the conversation to come to as quick a close as possible but at his fathers invitation found he did have a question.

"Well, maybe just one." he asked awkwardly, almost regretting he hadn't gotten up and fled while he had the chance. "It's just, when it comes to, when they," Ron took a deep breath to try and collect his thoughts. "How do you know if they want you to kiss em or not?" He heard his father take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"That Ron, is an age old question and their isn't a right answer." Ron's stomach dropped at these words. "But I'll tell you this, if it's your third time taking a girl out and she's looking at you with her lovely brown eyes, just do it, softly and sweetly so there's less chance of getting a hand smacked across your face. That's what I did with your mother and I think it would apply just at well with a certain bookworm your going to deny that this conversation is about." They both chuckled a little before Ron stood up, indicating his questions were at an end.

"So they're saving pudding for us right?"


End file.
